Posts Tagged self talk
Ironman Florida…. Part 2 (The Bike)
Posted by Matt Hoover in General on November 16th, 2010
Here is the second part of my Ironman experience this year. If you missed yesterday you might want to go back and read it because I am simply picking up where I left off. Now it’s time for the bike ride.
As I exited the water, I quickly forgot about how tired I was when I felt the icy cold of the sand. The transition was a pretty good distance away so after a short run up the beach I ran between two buildings and into a parking lot. The parking lot was filled with numbered bags in long lines. Inside those bags was the bike ride gear. After finding my bag I was off to change. Again, it was a nice little jaunt to the changing building.
After changing I headed out for a “few” miles on the bike. Heading out of town I felt pretty good. Most of the ride through town was between large buildings that protected me from the wind. I must say that I was getting pretty excited at how I was cruising along.
When I got away from the buildings and made the turn out of town, my excitement turned to fear. The wind was blowing hard. In the first 12 miles I saw more than a few people get blown right off the road. In fact, I passed a pretty good wreck where the lady was being loaded into an ambulance.
The great thing about being a bigger triathlete is that although it is a struggle riding into the wind, when you finally get to go with the wind, you flat out fly. I made it to mile 56 feeling pretty good and in pretty good time. At the turn around is when I got to go back into the wind for about 40 miles.
As I rode into the wind, my mind started to get the best of me. I don’t remember if I have mentioned it or not, but you are not allowed to use headphones or ipods during an Ironman. It is 140.6 miles with only your thoughts to entertain you.
About mile 60 I began to think about how much fun I was no longer having. The more I dwelled on the negatives, the more negative I became. (Imagine that!) I fought through those emotions and just put my head down and began to pedal. I was already half-way done and each pedal stroke was taking me closer to home.
At mile 70 I had one of the sharpest pains I have ever felt in my life shoot through my Achilles tendon, up my leg and into my hip. I drove right off the road. As I stood there trying to figure out what had just happened to me I decided to call it quits. The pain went from a shooting sensation to just a solid burn. I wasn’t able to put full pressure into my pedal strokes without pain and it literally felt like my hip was on fire.
I got back on my bike and decided to tough it out and get home. I was also telling myself that I would call it a day once I got back. I could say that I was injured, call for a medic and let them pull me off the course. My mind was made up. I was just going to pedal back and end this misery.
It was tough going. The wind was howling straight into my face and my feet were now numb from the cold, not to mention my new injury. I was definitely feeling sorry for myself. I fought through the wind and finally saw the glorious flashing lights of the sheriff cars that marked the turn onto the road back into town.
Two thoughts crossed my mind. You are on the home stretch; this will be all over soon when the medics pull you, and you get the wind to push you now that it is at your back.
At mile 90, the fight in my mind was taking to a new level. I really wasn’t feeling that bad and I knew it. Sure, my leg hurt and my hip was burning, but deep down I knew that I could keep going. The thing was is that I had already made up my mind to quit. I had a perfect excuse, medical forfeit. It was at that time that I remembered how I felt at Kona last year and how tough it was to deal with not finishing in time. There was no way that I could just give up and not even try.
Although people probably would have said: “Good job, you did the swim and the bike, that is more than most people can do.” I would have known the truth…. I QUIT! I began to talk to myself. Yes, really talk to myself and out loud at that. I can only imagine what the riders I was passing must of been thinking as I rode by having a full on conversation with myself.
I began to tell my body how good it was feeling. I began to praise it rather than curse it. I told myself about all the training I had done and how quitting was something that “Old Matt” would have done. I began to think about all of the people that had helped me to get to this Ironman. I thought of my wife and sons wearing their IronMatt t-shirts back at home and how they believed I could do it. I thought about a saying that I took from my dear friends the Watson’s: He thought he could so he did! Most importantly, I prayed. I handed the whole thing over to God and asked for strength. He delivered.
I came into the transition and rather than calling for a medic and calling it quits, I ran to my gear bag for the run and went into get changed.
After all, after a 2.4 mile swim and a 112 mile bike ride, all I had left to do was a marathon!
See you tomorrow!
Deja Vu’
Posted by Matt Hoover in General on September 21st, 2010
I don’t know about you, but sometimes when things hit a rough patch, the first things that I start to put off are the very things I need to make a priority. This blog for example, I use this blog to share my knowledge and sometimes analyze how I am feeling.
When I take a couple days off(or week) I think about it daily. I then find myself saying I will do it tomorrow. The longer I let it go the easier it is to let it go. I will say “OK, seriously tomorrow get back at it.” Tomorrow comes and I again say tomorrow. If I had the answer to why we put the things off that we know we need to do, I’d have my own television show.
What I do know is this. Sometimes a rough day can lead into a serious funk, the type of funk that keeps you worrying about things rather than acting upon them. Whether we feel like it or not the only way to get over setbacks is to get moving again.
This past week I managed to injure myself while training and get sick as well. I took a few days off and started to feel better. Rather than jump back into my routine I let fear take hold. The thought’s that have stifled me in the past came racing back to the front of my mind. “Every time you get in a groove this happens.” “Be careful, you might hurt yourself more.” “You fell off track again.” These thoughts paralyzed me for a while. Although they may have a grain of truth, they do not have to dictate how I react to them.
I found myself not sleeping, not eating, and then overeating. It is almost as if I was trying to reinforce my negative thoughts with negative behaviors. The more we reinforce negative thoughts with negative behaviors, the more negative we become.
Here is the million dollar question: How do you pull yourself out of it? I’ll give you my fifty cent answer. Just get over it. The blessing that we have in life is that each day presents itself for a new start. If you have been in a funk you can put a stop to it when you want to. On the other hand you can prolong it for as long as you want as well.
For me, it is a matter of knowing what to do and then acting. These past couple of weeks have been rough but I choose not to continue. I am going to do the things I know I need to do in order to feel well and live well.
How about you?
Are You Living Out of Fear or Without Fear?
Posted by Matt Hoover in General on June 30th, 2010
Researchers have diagnosed over 2000 known phobias or fears. That is a huge number of fears that people struggle with everyday. Here is the interesting part. Guess how many of those 2000 diagnosed fears we are born with. Think about it for a minute, the answer may surprise you. Those same researchers have found that humans are born with 2, that is right, TWO innate fears. The fear of loud noises and the fear of falling are the only fears that we are born with. The rest are learned.
So the question is, how do we learn to overcome our fears? We have to do exactly that, learn to overcome fear. Any habit that is learned can be unlearned. Unfortunately, sometimes unlearning habits is harder than learning them. Often it takes longer and come sometimes be physically uncomfortable but it can be done.
The thing about fear is that it must be faced. We will never overcome fear by running from it. The first step in overcoming a fear, or fears is to identify that fear. Second we must acknowledge that fear and third we need to develop the steps we need to take to beat that fear.
Our minds are like a giant storage cabinet. Inside those files are all of the experiences we have had throughout our lives. When we face a situation we draw form those files to decide how we are going to react. That is the key. WE decide how we are going to react to a situation. If we have operated out of fear most of our lives, we will more than react with fear.
In order to stop living out of fear we must reprogram and refile our reactions. It starts with one act of courage. It starts by decidng that we are going to react to situations differently than we have in the past. After we react positively enough times those old negastive files will be replaced ant thrown out with the trash. It will become easier and easier to react in the way that will move us forward toward where we want to go.
As I said earlier fear and old habits can be unlearned. The process does take longer than initially learning something because we must first unlearn and then relearn the new habit. The act of unlearning takes work. We have to commit to our new thought patterns and choose to implement those new ideas at the appropriate times rather than reacting as we have in the past.
This can be difficult because even though we may know our habits haven’t been working they are familiar to us and therefore easier even if the results we have achieved have been less than ideal. In essence, we may have to be uncomfortable as we begin facing our fears. As we relearn our new habits, that uncomfortableness will subside and will become easier and more natural.
Today is a great time to start facing our fears and stop living out of that fear. become fearless!
See you tomorrow!
The Funk…
Posted by Matt Hoover in General on May 18th, 2010
I don’t know about you, but sometimes when things hit a rough patch, the first things that I start to put off are the very things I need to make a priority. This blog for example, I use this blog to share my knowledge and sometimes analyze how I am feeling.
When I take a couple days off(or week) I think about it daily. I then find myself saying I will do it tomorrow. The longer I let it go the easier it is to let it go. I will say “OK, seriously tomorrow get back at it.” Tomorrow comes and I again say tomorrow. If I had the answer to why we put the things off that we know we need to do, I’d have my own television show.
What I do know is this. Sometimes a rough day can lead into a serious funk, the type of funk that keeps you worrying about things rather than acting upon them. Whether we feel like it or not the only way to get over setbacks is to get moving again.
This past week I managed to injure myself while training and get sick as well. I took a few days off and started to feel better. Rather than jump back into my routine I let fear take hold. The thought’s that have stifled me in the past came racing back to the front of my mind. “Every time you get in a groove this happens.” “Be careful, you might hurt yourself more.” “You fell off track again.” These thoughts paralyzed me for a while. Although they may have a grain of truth, they do not have to dictate how I react to them.
I found myself not sleeping, not eating, and then overeating. It is almost as if I was trying to reinforce my negative thoughts with negative behaviors. The more we reinforce negative thoughts with negative behaviors, the more negative we become.
Here is the million dollar question: How do you pull yourself out of it? I’ll give you my fifty cent answer. Just get over it. The blessing that we have in life is that each day presents itself for a new start. If you have been in a funk you can put a stop to it when you want to. On the other hand you can prolong it for as long as you want as well.
For me, it is a matter of knowing what to do and then acting. These past couple of weeks have been rough but I choose not to continue. I am going to do the things I know I need to do in order to feel well and live well. How about you?
What I See When I Look In The Mirror…
Posted by Matt Hoover in General on February 3rd, 2010
There is a strange phenomenon that occurs when you lose weight with someone close to you. When Suzy and I were on the show neither of us really noticed the changes that were happening physically. It seems like when we see a person everyday we are less likely to notice the changes in appearance that are taking place.
It seems like the last person to see the change in us when we lose weight is us. When I got home from the ranch everyone was telling me how good I looked but when I saw myself in the mirror I saw the old me. In the same way that we may not notice a weight loss in a person close to us, the opposite is also true. It may not be immediately obvious when the same person we saw lose the weight starts to gain it back.
After Jax was born Suzy said she was going to take six weeks and then get back to working out. At the six week mark she started working out again. By this time I had gotten pretty lazy. Suzy would ask if I wanted to go for a walk and I would go begrudgingly. When I saw Suzy working out everyday, I didn’t see her as someone who needed to lose weight. I saw her as someone who was suggesting that I needed to lose weight.
There hasn’t been a day that has gone by that I haven’t thought my wife is the most beautiful woman in the world. When she said she was unhappy with her weight I couldn’t figure it out. I seriously thought she was crazy. That is when I realized that I was being an enabler. Not just for my wife, but for myself as well.
By not being supportive of her feelings I was basically telling her that her feelings about herself weren’t valid. By telling her she didn’t have to work out I was giving myself permission to not work out as well. Although I was trying to show her that I loved her “just they way she is” I was doing more harm than good. Of course we love the ones closest to us just the way they are. What are you suppose to do when you love them but they don’t necessarily love themselves?
I’m not saying Suzy didn’t love herself, she didn’t love the way she looked. Not supporting her was like nonverbally saying everyday “It’s fine with me if you aren’t happy just don’t bother me with it because I think you look just fine.” Unfortunately that type thinking was more of a reflection upon myself than it was on my wife.
If I could just get Suzy to be happy with not working out and just carrying some extra weight, maybe I could do the same. It is a little sad but a lot of times in relationships if one person decides they need to make a change the other person takes it personal. As if them wanting to improve themselves somehow means that we are lacking.
For me it was “If Suzy wants to lose weight, she must really mean that she wants me to lose weight.” Oh whoas me! How could she be so selfish as to want something better for herself. There must be something wrong with me. Suzy wanted to be healthy and be an example for our kids like we had talked about since before they were born. I wanted to somehow be healthy but not have to put so much effort into it.
In 14 months my wife had 2 babies and I was the one feeling sorry for myself when I looked in the mirror. Selfishness not only sabatoges the ones we love but ourselves as well. When I finally took a good long look in the mirror I realized that I did in fact need to make some changes. Changes in the way I really saw myself, not how I thought others saw me or how my wife saw me but in the person I saw staring back at me in that mirror everyday.
See you tomorrow!
Seeds of Insecurity…
Posted by Matt Hoover in General on January 28th, 2010
I have decided that it is redundant to keep making the title of my blogs Life After Biggest Loser since everything I write about is my life after the show. After reading my blog a couple times yesterday I decided that I want to talk more about what I am going to call “Fat Person in a Skinny Body Syndrome” or FPSBS for the purposes of my blog.
As most of you know, I am not a doctor or psychologist so the things I am talking about are my own experiences. When you have been a contestant on a show like The Biggest Loser, people remember you one of two ways when it comes to physical appearance. What you looked like before the show or what you looked like at the finale.
When people see you in person who remember you from when you started the show they are very complimentary. “Wow, you have done a great job!” Those who remember you from the finale say “Wow, you have put back quite a bit of weight on!” They are both right.
If I had lost a bunch of weight in the privacy of my own home and people just learned through conversation that I once weighed over 350 pounds they would be like “Wow, that’s great!” Since I chose to do it on national television it’s a little different. The day I signed the contract to be on the show I signed up to be publicly judged by strangers.
Today I want to talk about how words from strangers and even people we know can take root in our lives and sometimes even cause us to self destruct.
Believe it or not, spring is just around the corner. This spring, farmers will start planting seeds in their fields. They will drop them in the ground and then cover them up with dirt. Even though we can’t see it underground, that seed is sprouting and developing a root system for whatever type of plant it is to become. As the seed continues to sprout the roots will take hold and become the support system for the plant as it begins to push it’s way through the dirt.
That little seed, once planted continues to work it’s way to the surface even though we can’t see it. “Great Matt, thanks for the farming lesson, what’s the point?” Here you go. Let’s imagine the words other people say to us are like that seed. They may something mean or discouraging and at the time we think nothing of it and just brush it off. We may even think to ourselves “What a jerk.” We bury it.
Maybe after a few hours we are sitting around and the words that person said come back into our mind. This time rather than dismissing the words we begin to dwell on them a little bit. If those words were seeds, we have just planted them in our mind. They have begun to take root if you will. Now is when the words that have taken root can grow in one of two ways. We can use them to fuel us to become better or we can begin to believe them and let those words bring us down.
I once had a lady at an event I was speaking at only a couple weeks after the finale, a time when I actually felt the best about my appearance, say I better watch it because I had already gained weight. A couple of weeks later she was kind enough to email me and tell me that I better get honest with myself because I was probably gain all my weight back.
At first I dismissed her as the ignorant person she was, but then I found myself becoming more and more critical of myself. Guess what I did. I cultivated those words into thoughts and actions that became detrimental to myself. I let a perfect stranger plant the seeds of doubt in my mind and rather than turning it into a positive began to feel guilty.
Thoughts like “She’s probably right”, “I’ll show her, I’m going to go eat whatever I want”, and “That’s what I’ve done before” consumed me. A perfect stranger! I started to punish myself and set myself up for failure because of words a stranger said to me took root. It sounds ridiculous doesn’t it!
As ridiculous as it is when you read what I just wrote, how many of us have done the exact same thing? If we don’t learn to appreaciate ourselves and our new body, it can be really easy for those seeds of insecurity to take root and undo all of the hard work that we have just done. A fat person in a skinny body is much more likely to go back to being a fat person in a fat body if they don’t plant new seeds and see themselves as the new person that they have become.
See you tomorrow!
