Posts Tagged life lessons
What Was Unresolved in the Past is Unresolved Today…
Posted by Matt Hoover in General on August 26th, 2011
I feel like I have two lives; life before Biggest Loser and life after Biggest Loser. Life before Biggest Loser consisted of poor choices and dissapointment. Life after has been filled with joy and excitement. Of course there have been struggles, mainly with my weight, but things are so much different.
After the show I began a new life. A life with a beautiful and loving wife and two amazing little boys that I can’t get enough of even though I am with them everyday.
My life is so drastically different that I was completely caught off gaurd when my past came back to haunt me in a big way.
I have been offered a posiiton with a large company. These days, one of the conditions of employment is a thorough background check. After filling out all of the paper work, accepting the position, and even having a start date, I was shocked when I got a letter telling me that the offer was put on hold because of an issue in my background check. It was reported on the report that I hadn’t received my degree. Most of you know that I was so excited to announce that I had in fact graduated form the University of Iowa this past May so I was devastated to see that according to this background check, I had lied about it.
After finding out what had happened, I was reminded of how past choices can still affect us today even if we have moved on.
My journey to earn my degree has taken 16 years. At oone point in my education life, I just quit school and left. I had a whole semester of F’s for grades. At the time I felt sorry for myself and chose to quit and run off. I had no idea just how much that decision would haunt me. In short, when I re-enrolled at the University of Iowa on academic probation I needed to earn nearly straight A’s. I did that. I went through graduation and thought everything had been squared away.
Fast forward to last week. Part of the background check is checking education references. When the company doing the investigation contacted the National Clearing House that list those who have earned degrees, my name wasn’t there. According to the investigation company, I had lied about having a degree. As you can probably imagine, that is not a good thing for a perspective employer to see.
I’ll spare the details, but I needed to file a dispute because I knew that I had completed the requirements to earn my degree. In one quick phone call I found out what had happened.
Although I had completed my coursework, there was an unreported grade from when I quit school over 15 years ago. Having the unreported grade on my transcript meant that the University of Iowa could not report that I had officially graduated. After one more phone call and what seemed like the longest day of waiting in my life, it was taken care of and the university was able to report that I had in fact met all requirements and did, in fact, earn my degree.
It has been heart-wrenching to have to wait through all of this but it is an excellent lesson to learn. Just because we hope something goes away doesn’t mean it will. If I had taken the proper steps before just up and quitting school, all of this could have been avoided. At that point in my life I felt sorry for myself and that I had it so bad, the only option was for me to leave school.
That was BS! Things were bad because I had made them bad and rather than think through my actions and how it could affect me long term, I chose the easy way out and ran. You can only run so long from the rough things in your life before they will eventually catch up to you. It took 16 years for mine to catch up with me, but last week they finally did.
The point of today’s blog isn’t to whine about my situation right now, it’s to drive home the point of the lesson I learned this week. Things that are left unresolved, be it yesterday or years ago, are still unresolved today. The only way to keep those unresolved issues from catching up with you is to face them and deal with them. Running from them won’t fix them, hiding from them won’t fix them, and for damn sure just ignoring them won’t fix them. The only way to truly put those things in the past is to do everything you can to resolve them.
It may be a conversation that needs to be had, a phone call that needs to be made, or some self examination that needs to be done, but I can promise you that by taking the action, a weight will be lifted. Only then can we be free from the past that we may not want to remember.
Remember, if it was unresolved yesterday, it is unresolved today. We can’t wish it or hope it away, we need to face it head on so that we can move forward. Let me reassure you that dealing with the things that we have been afraid to is much less painful than carrying them around.
See you later… -Matt
Crying Over Spilled Milk….
Posted by Matt Hoover in General on December 2nd, 2010
Do you ever what would have happened if……..? Why? It didn’t. Today I was thinking about some of the opportunities I’ve had. Some worked, some didn’t. A couple of them didn’t work out directly as a result of my own actions. Others just weren’t meant to be.
I started getting frustrated because had I done what I needed to things could have been pretty amazing. Then I caught myself. Thinking about what might have been takes the focus off where you are. We can’t go back and re-live our lives or undo the past. What we can do, is live in the current.
Beating ourselves up over missed or unfulfilled opportunities is like killing the chicken and then wishing you were still getting eggs. The point of that genius illustration (which I just made up by the way) is that there are always repercussions for our actions. Sometimes good, sometimes bad, but always a repercussion.
One of the things that led me to ending up on The Biggest Loser was me spending too much time thinking about what might have been. What would have happened if I had become an All-American wrestler at Iowa? What would have happened if I had made it to the Olympics? What would have happened if…….? I am not going to go back down that road again!
Here’s the thing, none of those things happened so there is no point in focusing on the “What if’s” in our past. The fact of the matter is that where we are today is where we are. We can accept it or change it, if we choose change, it isn’t going to happen by looking back. It will happen by living in the current and choosing to do so each day.
If it sounds like I am being a little harsh today, maybe I am. We all need a little wake up call now in then….Including me.
Being Thankful; Second Chances…
Posted by Matt Hoover in General on November 24th, 2010
My wife just left to do some more Thanksgiving shopping and she took the boys with her so I have a minute. As they were leaving I couldn’t help but think about how amazing my life has become and how much joy those three individuals bring to it.
Many of you who have followed my story may know parts of it, but probably don’t know a lot of it. My life hasn’t always been the way it is today. The crazy thing is that I value my “old” life as much as the new. Without it, I wouldn’t have ended up where I am now.
It is coming up on five years since I won NBC’s The Biggest Loser. Prior to going onto the show I was a mess. Yes, I had great friends and people that supported me, but inside I was a flat out wreck. I drank too much, ate too much, and spent too much money that I didn’t have. Although I appeared to be a carefree and cheerful guy, I was falling apart. I hated being alone because all I did was think about what failure I had become. I hated being sober because my head was clear enough to see the damage I was creating around myself.
When I left for the show I had $-100.00 in my bank account. I figured I may as well go on the show because I was already broke and not paying my bills. What would the bill collectors do to me? I already wasn’t paying them! I knew I needed a change.
People ask me all the time if I would have made the changes I have if I hadn’t gone on the show. My answer: NO. I know I wouldn’t have. The thing is, is that I knew I could, I just didn’t want to make the effort to do it. I had gotten comfortable being uncomfortable. To change my life was going to take a commitment that I was just not willing to make.
I was like any other kid when I entered college. I had big dreams and goals. My extracurricular activities were taking me further and further away from reaching those goals. I watched my goals and dreams slip away and eventually gave up on them completely. I quit wrestling, quit school, and then quit on myself.
I looked for happiness everywhere but inside of myself. I looked for it in bottles of rum, I looked for it in a girl that I thought should marry, I looked for it in pets, I looked for it in adventure. The shocker of it is, is that I was looking to find love for myself in other places and things and then was dismayed when I never found it.
Quitting became easy for me. School wasn’t working out, I quit. My first marriage wasn’t working, I quit. Job wasn’t fun, I quit. Quitting was my normal.
I believed that my life was turning out just how I deserved. I screwed up and this is what I got. I settled. In my mind I believed that I was going to struggle the rest of my life because I had screwed up my first chance.
I didn’t believe in second chances. I thought that if you messed up the first time you would probably mess up the second time so it was better to just accept it and live with it. I was wrong. One of the best things and worst things about being on The Biggest Loser was the fact that I was completely alone. Yes there were people all around, but they were strangers and I was alone without alcohol and my friends to make me feel better. I had to face myself.
Being on the show allowed me the opportunity to search deep within and see what I believed about myself. When I got on the ranch my goal was to win the money and prove to people that I wasn’t a failure. That was part of my problem, I was trying to prove to others that I wasn’t a failure rather than myself.
Along the way it stopped being about trying to prove myself to others and it became about proving things to myself. I was finally being given a second chance. I took it and I ran with it.
I wasted a lot of years believing that I wasn’t worth having a good life. Those years spent floundering make these days even sweeter. When I start doubting myself, I think back to the “good old days” and see how far I have come. I look at my wife and kids and see how good I have it. I look at my job as a speaker and author and see that I have the freedom to do the job I love.
I have been given a second chance. In fact, I’ve actually been given third and fourth and countless other chances. It wasn’t until I was ready to capitalize on that “second chance” that I found the life that I was destined to live.
For that, I am thankful.
Ironman Florida part 3…
Posted by Matt Hoover in General on November 17th, 2010
This is the last part of my wrap up about my Ironman experience this year. Tomorrow I will share some lessons and thoughts about this event.
With about 5 miles to go on the bike I started making some strategy decisions. Last year I spent a lot of time in transition. Cutting that amount of time could have helped me get to the finish line in Kona in time. I debated on what to do. Last year I changed all of my clothes and put on different clothes for the run. It was again time to make a decision.
I had a complete change of clothes but decided to just put on a new base layer on top. It had been cold all day and temperatures were expected to drop into the 30’s by the time I would be finishing up the run. As I was running by the table I saw some cream that you can put on to avoid friction and the inevitable chaffing that comes with doing a marathon. I grabbed some and put it on my skin down my shorts thinking that it would be a good idea.
BAD! I had already gotten some chaffing going on and slapping that creme on felt like pouring salt in an open wound. I just thought to myself “This is going to be a long night!” As I left the shoot I heard nothing but encouragement and kind words. Even with the Achilles problem I felt pretty good.
After a few minutes the burning from the creme had subsided and got into a good running rythm. During the bike ride my watch had stopped working so I was doing this run with no way to tell how I was doing time-wise. I actually think it helped me because I was listening to my body and not worrying about the time. I made the first 6 miles in pretty good time. I really couldn’t believe how good I was feeling.
The first 13.1 miles were pretty anticlimactic and I began to think about what it was going to be like to become an Ironman. I was excited and still moving pretty good. Then it happened. At about mile 15 the old wheels came off. I was exhausted.
Just a few minutes ago I couldn’t believe how good I was feeling and now I could barely move. During the first lap I had met up with a woman who had done several Ironmans and kept pace with her because she knew she was going to finish with plenty of time. Now, I was all alone.
Within a few steps I started to realize that I had developed some blisters. One in particular was pretty painful. I had gotten a blister across the entire front pad of my foot. Right at the bottom of toes on the bottom of my foot I could feel the uncomfortable pillow of a huge blister. It hadn’t affected me much during the first 13 miles but now it was all I could think about.
There were little speed humps through the residential area of the run. Just going up those felt like someone was sticking nails in my foot. I was now at a slow walk. It was about that time that a camera crew came up to film me. They asked me how I was doing and I said “Not so good.” I also told them I had no idea how I was doing for time since I didn’t have a watch. One of them graciously offered me a watch.
When I looked at the clock I saw that I had to make 15 minute miles to get to the end in time to be an official finisher. I picked up the pace. After leaving the park which meant I had less than 6 miles to go, there were a ton of signs for other runners from friends and families. I saw one of a little boy about my sons age and lost it. It was the first really emotional time of the race. I imagined the “runs” that my sons and I had done on some of our “boys day outs”. When we do those runs my sons run along beside me and just look at me and smile. It is an amazing feeling to see their little smiles and the joy that they get from being active. It was even more amazing to visualize them running there beside me that cold dark night out on that course.
I got it back together and stopped crying. I was back to walking again. Any deviation in cadence made my foot feel like the bottom was going to rip off. Each speed hump that I crossed felt like I was walking up a mountain. Every now and then I would step on a rock that would shoot a piercing pain all the way through my body. I hurt.
With about two miles to go I could hear the announcer yelling “Congratulations, you are an Ironman!” It brought back a flood of emotions. I remembered being able to hear those same words last year and Kona but didn’t get to hear them myself. I thought about all the training and the time I had spent away from my family while training this year and last. Most importantly I thought about what it was going to be like to cross that finish line.
I had one hour to go 2 miles and I was going to need it all. As I got closer people were yelling conratulations and words of encouragement. Many were simply saying “You’re gonna make it!”
When I came around the last turn into the finish shoot I thought of how I was going to cross the line. Was I going to skip, do a cartwheel, or do a somersault? As I got closer I realized it would be none of the above. I simply walked jogged toward the line taking it all in, high-fiving strangers listening to the cheers and appreciating what I had just accomplished.
About two steps from the line I began bawling like a baby. As I crossed under the finish line I threw my hands in the air and gave thanks to God for giving me the strength and opportunity to do what I had just done. A medal was placed around my neck and I was an official Ironman.
The excitement quickly turned to relief and then pure exhaustion. One of the show producers handed me a phone and I called my wife. We cried together for a moment and she told me she was proud of me.
I have one state and national titles in wrestling and been the winner of The Biggest Loser. This moment topped them all. I was an Ironman!
See you tomorrow!
An Inspirational Piece… Just For Today
Posted by Matt Hoover in General on October 5th, 2010
I came across this as I was doing some studying. I would like to share it with you today. I have been reading it every morning and it has had an immediate impact on me. Enjoy!
JUST FOR TODAY
Just for today I will be happy. This assumes that what Abraham Lincoln said is true, “most folks are about as happy as they make up their minds to be.” Happiness is from within; it is not a matter of externals.
Just for today I will try to adjust myself to what is, and not try to adjust everything to my own desires. I will take my family, my business, and my luck as they come and fit myself to them.
Just for today I will take care of my body. I will exercise it, care for it, nourish it, not abuse or neglect it, so that it will be a perfect machine for my bidding.
Just for today I will try to strengthen my mind. I will learn something useful. I will not be a mental loafer. I will read something that requires effort, thought and concentration.
Just for today I will exercise my soul in three ways; I will do somebody a good turn and not get found out. I will do at least two things I don’t want to do, as William James suggests, just for exercise.
Just for today I will be agreeable. I will look as well as I can, dress as becomingly as possible, talk low, act courteously, be liberal with praise, criticize not at all, nor find fault with anything and not try to regulate nor improve anyone.
Just for today I will try to live through this day only, not to tackle my whole life problem at once. I can do things for twelve hours that would appall me if I had to do them up for a lifetime.
Just for today I will have a program. I will write down what I expect to do every hour. I may not follow it exactly, but I will have it. It will eliminate two pests, hurrying and indecision.
Just for today I will have a quiet half-hour all by myself and relax. In this half-hour sometimes I will think of my God, so as to get a little perspective into my life.
Just for today I wil be unafraid, especially I will not be afraid to be happy, to enjoy what is beautiful, to love, and to believe that those I love, love me.
-Sibyl F. Partridge
Do Over…
Posted by Matt Hoover in General on September 7th, 2010
Have you ever watched a young child play a game? If things aren’t going quite right, what do they do? In case your not sure, I will remind you with a quick illustration. Child is playing a game, child is not doing well at game, child innocently says: “Wait, wait, let me start over!” Child starts over.
Children seem to have this ability to recognize when things are not going as they wish. They also have the ability to start over without mulling over and over what they should have done different. Children have a short memory.
Somewhere along the way, we as adults, have decided that a “do over” is a sign of weakness and that if we start over we have somehow failed. Of course we can’t just throw in the towel the instant we don’t like what is going on, as a child does, but we may be well served in having the short memory of a child when things don’t work.
The minute a child says “do over” it is like the previous mistake or situation never occurred. The child begins to work on a new plan to achieve their intended objective. They somehow remember what wasn’t working and go about their new business with little or no fear.
I think that as adults we would be well served by learning the art of the “do over” as it has been perfected by millions of children all over the world. There is nothing wrong with giving ourselves a clean slate.
Here is what I propose for the adult do-over. Identify what isn’t working, acknowledge it, adapt to it, and start again. We don’t need to dwell on what didn’t work but we must recognize and remember in order not to keep doing it over and over.
That is where the kids have gotten it right. They will try and try until they get the desired result without dwelling on how many “do overs” they have had. When whatever IT is that they want comes to them, they feel like they arrived there with no effort at all. Because after all, they have an unlimited number of “do overs” just like us adults!
Drop the Anchor…
Posted by Matt Hoover in General on August 11th, 2010
Yesterday I shared how I had been in a little funk. It amazes me how the simple act of “coming clean” can improve how you feel so quickly.
Sometimes the things that we are carrying around as baggage seem like a giant anchor that is just holding us back. Most people that have ever boated know that in order to move you have to pull up your anchor. It is possible to move the boat while it is still anchored, but it takes a lot more power and you won’t get any place to quickly. Once that anchor is pulled up, however, that boat will cut through the water with relative ease.
Why is it so hard to pull up our own anchor? Once we do, things tend to go easier. Unfortunately, many of us choose to simply walk around dragging that anchor around like it is attached to our body like an arm. It’s time to pull up anchor and move forward.
The things that have been holding us back or dragging us down are only able to do so when we give them permission. Pull that sucker up and go!
See you tomorrow!
Headin Home!!!
Posted by Matt Hoover in General on June 26th, 2010
I’m sitting in the Las Vegas airport a proud man. I was able to find supper that was healthy and within my calorie range! Sounds like a little thing, but airports have been my place of struggle for many years. I had a salad from Baja Fresh. I asked them to hold the fried tortilla strips and cheese and had salsa instead of dressing. I ate it and am typing this blog completely satisfied. They didn’t even look at me like I was a creature from another planet when I asked them to make my salad a little different.
Next stop was to get something to drink. I’m off the pop now and thought maybe a bottle of tea would be good to drink. Guess what the second ingredient was on the “anti-oxidant rich” green tea was. High fructose corn syrup. On the diet it was crystallized fructose and phenylalanine or whatever. I got my water bottle out and filled it up at the fountain. I have worked to hard to start taking shortcuts.
Speaking of shortcuts, today I decided that rather than going on a regular hike that I was going to climb the mountain across from the resort. It really is a mountain. It was a 1 mile hike straight up the side. I found the trailhead and took off. Even though it was steep, the trail was well marked. For a while. As I climbed higher and the terrain got tougher I began to question my common sense.
About 3/4 of the way up I saw an opening that looked like a good way to go, a shortcut. From where I was standing it looked like it would definitely be easier going once I got up a short wall. I scaled the wall and was in a deep crack in the mountain. I continued about 20 feet before I came to a dead end.
I was left with two options. Sit there and wait for someone to get me or turn around and go back the way I came and try and find a different way. Well I wasn’t about to wait around for someone to figure out that I had been an idiot and come looking for me. I went back down scaled the face I had climbed up, which was much more intimidating standing on top looking down. I made it down and continued up the way I should have the first time.
When I got to the top of the mountain I thought about what had happened and how that relates to my own life and quite possibly yours. When things got a little difficult I started looking for a shortcut. I knew that if I stayed on the path I was on that I would eventually get to the top. When the good idea buzzer went off in my brain to look for the easier way, it sounded like a good plan. It wasn’t.
How many times in life are we on the right path when an easier route seems to appear. We all want to get where we want to go quickly. The problem is that often times our “shortcuts” are anything but that. We start out on the shortcut with best intentions only to find out it was the wrong decision. It is those moments that we have to get real with ourselves. We can sit there and cry and wait to be rescued or we can turn around, go back the way we came and get back on the path that we know is going to take us to our ultimate destination.
Often times when I take a shortcut I will stand there and think “Why did I do this again?’ I may stand there paralyzed by the thought of having made a bad call; almost as if doing nothing is somehow better than acknowledging I screwed up and head back to where I went off track.
I couldn’t have asked for a better lesson to learn on my last day at The Biggest Loser Resort. Today I know where I want to go and that taking shortcuts isn’t going to get me there any quicker. For me it’s time to stop taking shortcuts and stay on the path that I know is going to take me where I want to go. How about you?
No More Shortcuts!
In my next blog I will be giving a recap of my entire stay at Fitness Ridge as well as sharing my numbers from my 2 weeks there. (I am not disappointed!)
See you tomorrow!
The Self Fulfilling Prophecy…
Posted by Matt Hoover in General on June 17th, 2010
Many people have heard the term self fulfilling prophecy at one time or another during their life. Although having heard it, many have never thought about what it is.
Simply put, our beliefs affect our behaviors. Most of the time it is the negative beliefs that will manifest themselves. As I was working out this morning I started thinking about some of my own thought patterns in the past and how almost all of the negative things I said to myself did or began to become true.
Let me give you an example. When I first won The Biggest Loser, I would read the internet and see that people were saying that I was going to gain all of my weight back. I had never met these people, these people didn’t know me, but somehow what they were writing about me stuck with me. At first I would say that they had no idea what they were talking about. After being away from the show for nearly a year, I did begin to gain weight. When I first realized how much weight I had gained, my thoughts weren’t: “I’ll just get back to work.” They were: “Oh my gosh they were right.”
I was letting what other people had said affect me so deeply that I began to talk to myself in negative ways. I remember thinking, “You always do this, do something great for yourself and then try and wreck it.” Do you see the pattern? Rather than appreciate the weight I had kept off and work to re-lose the weight I had gained, I began to behave worse. It is almost like, rather than try and prove the nay-sayers wrong, I has trying to prove them right.
There will always be detractors to your success. People who don’t want to see you succeed. DO NOT be your own biggest detractor. Think about what you are saying to yourself. The more negative things that you dwell on, the more negative things YOU are going to produce. There will always be plenty of people who will tell you that you can’t do something. The only person who can make you not do something is you.
I have had my struggles with weight, but I am going to win because I believe I will. As I have mentioned in some of my past blogs, I have hit a plateau and the numbers haven’t been dropping. I am not going to sit back and say, “Well I guess this is just what I am going to weigh. I’m not going to be able to be as fit as I would like.” I am going to focus on the solutions. I have seen progress and know that I can reach the level of fitness that I desire.
One thing I do know is that having a negative attitude can only hinder my progress. How are you speaking to yourself? Are the words you are using going to help or hinder your success?
I hope you will work with me to change from negative self talk, which will lead to self defeat; to positive self talk which will open doors in life that you may have thought were permanently closed.
What an Interesting Day!
Posted by Matt Hoover in General on May 20th, 2010
This morning Suzy and I got the boys up at 5am to drive to Portland to be a part of the taping for the premier episode of The Biggest Loser’s 1oth season. We were excited to go down and see our friend and Suzy’s trainer Bob Harper and meet a couple of this seasons new contestants.
All was well as we crossed into Portland from Washington. About a mile into the state of Oregon we were chatting along when WHAM. We were hit from behind by another vehicle. I quickly jumped out of the car to check on the boys in the backseat. We got hit hard and I was worried about them. They seemed fine. The guy who hit us wasn’t so lucky, his car was mangled but I think he was fine as well. His car actually went under us for the most part so we were still able to drive our car. Needless to say we were a little late to the taping.
When we got to the shoot it started to downpour. Not the little mist that we are use to here in the Pacific Northwest, but a full on cats and dogs storm. As we trudged to the shoot site we wondered if maybe this was a sign that we weren’t suppose to come. When we got to a bridge where people had been waiting all morning we were swarmed by people wanting pictures and autographs. I have to admit, it was a lot of fun to feel like a celebrity and the boys handled it really well. Being treated so nice took our minds off the earlier events of the day.
Right when it was time to start rolling cameras the rain subsided and the birds even began to chirp. We watched as new contestant hopefuls were announced and weighed in and then we went for a walk with a huge group of Biggest Loser fans.
As we were waiting for the walk to begin a lady came up to me to ask a question. She was a former athlete who was having some struggles and asked me because I too was a former athlete. We talked about our identity and how we saw ourselves. I also explained that it can be difficult to change our mindsets from always working hard to earn a championship and transitioning into exercising to live a healthy life. We talked for several minutes and I have to believe that my brief time with this lady, who was extremely nice, was meaningful.
As we drove home I realized that even when things aren’t going as planned we can still impact others. Today I learned the value of being able to not sweat the small stuff and appreciate the bigger picture. Yes our car is wrecked and we will have some doctor visits, but all in all we walked away pretty lucky, as it could have been much worse.
I am so glad that we continued on with our journey for the day and didn’t let a setback hold us back!
