Posts Tagged goal setting
Where is Your True Starting Point?
Posted by Matt Hoover in General on August 16th, 2010
Yesterday I was out on a bicycle ride with a good friend of mine. As we were riding we started talking about the progress I’ve made over the past year in the sport of triathlon and how I am feeling as I prep for next Ironman in November.
I told him I felt unbelievably different. I am down several pounds, my cycling has improved, and so has my running. Most importantly, my mindset has improved. Last year when I took on the Kona Ironman I had no idea what I was doing. I didn’t know that carrying around extra weight could affect me as much as it did.
Last weekend I was flipping through the channels and caught the replay of the Kona Ironman on NBC. I watched the race and saw my brief segment once again. When I saw myself, I wasn’t disappointed, I was a little sad. The reason I was sad was because I knew that I had a false sense of how I looked and felt physically.
I was big, not as in pre-Biggest Loser big, but I was carying more weight than I should have been to be competing in a race of that magnitude. The thing is, is that at that time I didn’t realize it. I felt like “I can move 140.6 miles in one day. I am in pretty good shape.” That statement was partially true.
True in the sense that you have to have a pretty good level of fitness to do that race and make the cut-offs. Not true, in that I was definitely carrying too much body fat and failed to realize it. I saw myself as being better off than I was. It wasn’t until I saw myself on television that I realized just how big I was.
I am convinced that had I weighed then what I weigh now, I would have finished that race in under the cut-off time and would have been an official Ironman. That is neither here nor there now. I didn’t finish in time. Heavy or not, I have yet to become an Ironman in the true sense.
What does this have to do with the title of this post? As I was talking yesterday, I came to the conclusion that many of us have a false sense of where we are when it comes to weight. Some of us can think we are smaller and better off than we are, others think we are bigger and worse off than we really are.
In order to know where we really are, we must give ourselves a true starting point. By true starting point I am talking about where are TODAY. I don’t mean 5, 10, or even 20 years ago. The only way to gauge our progress is by having an official starting point and then using that point as a gauge.
For example. If I weigh 240 pounds today, that is what I weigh. In a year from now, if I weigh 200, I will say I lost 40 pounds. If on the other hand I weigh 245, I will say I gained 5 pounds this year. Here is why this is important. I could use my pre-Biggest Loser weight of 353 as a gauge and in turn be able to say that I have lost 108 pounds. Although this is true, it isn’t necessarily the whole truth.
I lost 157 pounds on the show then gained weight back. I then lost weight again. The reality is that If I use the 353 pound number than I am really just losing and gaining the same weight over and over again. This is why I am now using 240 as my starting point. By doing this I can have a clear number and place to begin.
What this allows me to do is wipe the slate clean. I can no longer play games like the “I use to weigh… and even though I have gained…. I ‘ve still kept off….” I know what I weigh and will use this as my starting point and lifelong marker. By doing this, I will have a realistic perception and gauge of how I am doing on this lifelong journey.
In essence, our true starting point is TODAY. Now, lets get started!
See you tomorrow.
Seeds of Insecurity…
Posted by Matt Hoover in General on January 28th, 2010
I have decided that it is redundant to keep making the title of my blogs Life After Biggest Loser since everything I write about is my life after the show. After reading my blog a couple times yesterday I decided that I want to talk more about what I am going to call “Fat Person in a Skinny Body Syndrome” or FPSBS for the purposes of my blog.
As most of you know, I am not a doctor or psychologist so the things I am talking about are my own experiences. When you have been a contestant on a show like The Biggest Loser, people remember you one of two ways when it comes to physical appearance. What you looked like before the show or what you looked like at the finale.
When people see you in person who remember you from when you started the show they are very complimentary. “Wow, you have done a great job!” Those who remember you from the finale say “Wow, you have put back quite a bit of weight on!” They are both right.
If I had lost a bunch of weight in the privacy of my own home and people just learned through conversation that I once weighed over 350 pounds they would be like “Wow, that’s great!” Since I chose to do it on national television it’s a little different. The day I signed the contract to be on the show I signed up to be publicly judged by strangers.
Today I want to talk about how words from strangers and even people we know can take root in our lives and sometimes even cause us to self destruct.
Believe it or not, spring is just around the corner. This spring, farmers will start planting seeds in their fields. They will drop them in the ground and then cover them up with dirt. Even though we can’t see it underground, that seed is sprouting and developing a root system for whatever type of plant it is to become. As the seed continues to sprout the roots will take hold and become the support system for the plant as it begins to push it’s way through the dirt.
That little seed, once planted continues to work it’s way to the surface even though we can’t see it. “Great Matt, thanks for the farming lesson, what’s the point?” Here you go. Let’s imagine the words other people say to us are like that seed. They may something mean or discouraging and at the time we think nothing of it and just brush it off. We may even think to ourselves “What a jerk.” We bury it.
Maybe after a few hours we are sitting around and the words that person said come back into our mind. This time rather than dismissing the words we begin to dwell on them a little bit. If those words were seeds, we have just planted them in our mind. They have begun to take root if you will. Now is when the words that have taken root can grow in one of two ways. We can use them to fuel us to become better or we can begin to believe them and let those words bring us down.
I once had a lady at an event I was speaking at only a couple weeks after the finale, a time when I actually felt the best about my appearance, say I better watch it because I had already gained weight. A couple of weeks later she was kind enough to email me and tell me that I better get honest with myself because I was probably gain all my weight back.
At first I dismissed her as the ignorant person she was, but then I found myself becoming more and more critical of myself. Guess what I did. I cultivated those words into thoughts and actions that became detrimental to myself. I let a perfect stranger plant the seeds of doubt in my mind and rather than turning it into a positive began to feel guilty.
Thoughts like “She’s probably right”, “I’ll show her, I’m going to go eat whatever I want”, and “That’s what I’ve done before” consumed me. A perfect stranger! I started to punish myself and set myself up for failure because of words a stranger said to me took root. It sounds ridiculous doesn’t it!
As ridiculous as it is when you read what I just wrote, how many of us have done the exact same thing? If we don’t learn to appreaciate ourselves and our new body, it can be really easy for those seeds of insecurity to take root and undo all of the hard work that we have just done. A fat person in a skinny body is much more likely to go back to being a fat person in a fat body if they don’t plant new seeds and see themselves as the new person that they have become.
See you tomorrow!
The Reality of Reality Weight Loss….
Posted by Matt Hoover in General on January 20th, 2010
I seriously just erased an entire blog because I didn’t like the way it sounded when I read it. I want to talk about some of the realities of being a contestant on The Biggest Loser but I don’t want to bash the show. I want to talk about what life is like after but don’t want to sound like I am making excuses. Here is what I am going to do. I am going to type what I am thinking and not worry about what others say and here’s why.
I WAS THERE! I was actually on the show and know what it has been like for me. I can only speak for myself and what I have experienced. There have been 7 seasons since I was on the show. Things may or may not have changed and just like any other experience in life, people who have been in the same situation can have dramatically different experiences.
I want to talk about the big topic of discussion that I have been reading a lot about lately. In a recent magazine article, I read about the type of support available to contestants after leaving the show. Back when I won there wasn’t a whole lot. Please remember that I was on in the infancy stage of BL. Before the show was as big as it is today. None of us, especially the producers, could have ever imagined what BL was to become.
That being said, I don’t think anyone could have imagined the impact being on the show would have on an individual and their life after being on the show. I have talked to recent contestants and am glad to hear that they have access to support. I am lucky in that I met my wife on the show and we could lean on each other. I can’t imagine going home to a spouse who had no idea what kind of transformation I had just gone through. Many people have had to do just that. They have had to go home and explain why they “seem different” or why they choose to no longer do some of the things they use to. Some people lose friends and some even spouses.
One of the great things about being on BL is that you learn to rely on yourself. One of the bad things about being on BL is that sometimes you start to rely on yourself too much. Rather than seek out help, which seems to be available now, we (I) just assume that it was up to us to fix it. After all, I lost the weight I can deal with this, whatever “this” may be.
I was bitter for a long time toward Jillian after the show because I didn’t feel like I got any support from her after the show. The reason being is that after the finale, I never talked to her again. I don’t know why or if I did something to upset her, we just have never connected again. It was dissapointing to me. When I gained weight I got embarrassed and thought maybe that is why we haven’t talked.
Just this past week we appeared on the Joy Behar show which Jillian was also on. I was nervous and thought “How is this gonna go?” We still didn’t get a chance to talk. During the show she said something that the casual viewer would have not picked up on. It was a simple comment about me completing the Ironman World Championship triathlon. When we left the building I told my wife that I wasn’t angry anymore. In fact, after she said what she said I realized something. I had been acting immature.
Let me use yet another analogy. Yesterday it was prison, today it’s highschool.
Almost every highschool team has a senior star. The kid who the coaches have spent hours, even years, developing and coaching. The reason this athlete has gotten to the level of being the star is because they listened to their coaches and worked hard. Let’s say this kid leads his team to a state title in their sport.
They go home and give a speech to the fans in their hometown. The people who have watched them progress into the athlete they have become are all there. The kid more than likely thanks the fans, their parents, and lastly their coaches. Everyone in the gym quietly wonders what is going to be like next year without this athlete on the team.
Guess what, a new kid will step into the old stars place! Want to know why? Because a good coach knows that they have a job to do. They can’t sit around worrying about whether or not the star that just graduated is going to make it on their own. A good coach prepares their athletes to live well after their time on the team has concluded. Of course from time to time they may think about some of the kids they coached in the past, but they have a job to do and a new group of kids to focus on. It is up to the athlete to implement the lessons they learned from their coach.
If you are having a tough time trying to figure out how this relates to BL and specifically my and Jillian’s relationship or lack thereof, let me break it down for you.
Jillian has a job to do. Her job is to train the contestants and get them to lose the most amount of weight possible while they are working with her. I know she genuinely cares about the contestants but she has now trained hundreds of contestants. It isn’t an option for her to personally check in on all of us. As much as I wish she could, it isn’t feasable and to tell the truth is a little selfish on my part. That day, after the show, I realized that even though Jillian and I haven’t talked since the finale of my season, she still cares enough to keep tabs on what I have been doing. Hearing her make that brief statement on Joy’s show was freeing.
Jillian taught me a lot, but just as the coach of any successful team she has to focus on the team she has currently. What I have to do now is implement the lessons I learned from her and take care of myself like a big boy.
See you tomorrow!
The Key to Consistency is Being Consistent!
Posted by Matt Hoover in General on January 12th, 2010
As we proceed deeper into the new year at what seems to be an incredible rate of speed, I am forced to come to some self realization.
When the new year started I decided that I was going to be more consistent with things in my life. This blog, for example, is something I wanted to be more consistent about. Looking back over the past year of my pieces showed me that I was rather sporadic. I’d have a week of blogs then some time off, then another week and some time off.
What became painfully obvious to me was that doing something consistently for a week does not make one consistent. In other words, to be consistent we need to do things consistently week after week.
Only by being consistently consistent can we consistently be consistent! Alright, now I even feel like I have taken this a little too far. But maybe I haven’t. One of the other things that I have come to see is that, unfortunately, being inconsistent can be some people’s only form of consistency.
Whether we choose to accept it or not, we are all either consistently consistent OR consistently inconsistent. I really don’t see any middle ground.
I am going to come clean right now. Last year I was more inconsistent than consistent. I found myself focusing in on some very direct goals while losing site of others. By doing this I was able to have some amazing experience but I missed out on some opportunities as well.
Had I been consistent, who is to say what other things may have arisen. Here is the thing about inconsistency. When we are inconsistent we can never fully realize our potential. The only way to maximize our potential and increase opportunities to reach that potential is by becoming and being consistent.
This year I am going to be consistently consistent with my faith, my family, my exercise, my nutrition, my business, my blogging, well with everything that I set inside my heart and mind to acheive.
This is going to be an awesome year. And if nothing else, a consistent one!
New Year Note
Posted by Matt Hoover in General on January 1st, 2010
I am not going to spend a lot of time talking about resolutions today. Everywhere you look and everyone you talk to is going to be telling you how to make and keep resolutions. Just like every other year many people are going to read about resolutions and get all fired up for a solid week or two. Unfortunately, after that short amount of time many people are going to start saying “Well there is always next year.” Have you ever noticed how packed the gyms are the first month of the new year? Have you noticed how spacious the gym feels by the second month?
Here is the deal, all of us know how to make resolutions and all of us know what we need to do to keep them. Very few are willing to do the work that we know we need to do to succeed at what ever we have set out to do in the new year.
When I turned on my computer this morning the lead story on my home page said: Americans look back at difficult decade. That headline is an excellent example of why many don’t suceed at acheiving their new resolutions. They start their year off looking back rather than deciding to move forward. They concentrate on what went wrong rather than looking at where they are today and how they are going to improve.
The new year isn’t an opportunity to go back and fix the events of last year. The new year is an opportunity to begin anew and to do something everyday that is going to make our lives better. This year I want to encourage you to change the words you use as you set out to acheive the goals you have made for this year.
Let’s not talk about all of the things we aren’t going to do and start talking about the things we are. Let me briefly explain why this is so important. If we talk about the things we are not going to do it is easy to beat ourselves up and feel bad when those things happen. When we talk about the things we will do, and then do them, we will be able to speak positively to ourselves and see the progress we are making. The more we see positive results the more we want to continue to experience them.
This year can be a great year! In order for it to be a great year it is up to us to make it happen. Be positive and take action then next year you won’t have to set the same goals that you did this year.
Get Back Up!
Posted by Matt Hoover in General on December 22nd, 2009
A couple of days ago I was at wrestling practice. I have been working with some high level athletes after being away from competition for a while so I was a little timid. My biggest concern was how my body would hold up.
During a live match I got thrown hard. I landed hard and I layed there for a second and thought about what had just happened to me. I realized that I wasn’t hurt and the landing didn’t hurt as much I had thought it would.
I continued wrestling and a short time later I got tossed on my head again. This time it didn’t phase me. I got back up again, made some adjustments and didn’t get thrown again the rest of the practice.
After practice I was sitting down and I got to thinking about what happened during that workout and what I could take away from it.
That is when I realized just how significant those two crash landings were. Prior to getting thrown I was worried about what it was going to be like when I did get tossed. Would I get hurt? What part of my body would get hurt? How long would I be out for when I did get hurt. I built it up in my mind that getting thrown, which was inevitable, was going to be a terrible experience.
The crazy thing was that it didn’t hurt as bad as I thought and wasn’t nearly as traumatic as I had built it up to be. The second time it didn’t even phase me and after the second time I was able to make some adjustments to keep it from happening again.
On my drive home I thought about how I could relate this lesson to people in their everyday life. Here goes. I think many of us have faced times in our lives when we were feeling a little intimidated by a situation. Perhaps we were timid and afraid to go full blast into a situation because we were worried about what might or might not happen. We hold back because we are afraid that the consequences of committing whole-heartedly may hurt.
For some people, when they do face adversity; like taking a fall for example, they lay there and think about how bad they hurt. Unfortunately, a lot of people will lay there focusing on the pain instead of getting up and going back for more.
On the other hand, if that same person simply took a moment to process what just happened, realized that it really wasn’t that bad, and then got back up and started again, they could then begin to see progress.
It is very possible that they may get tossed around again, but after having already experiencing what it feels like to fall and get back up again, it is more likely that they won’t focus on the pain and will begin to make adjustments so that it doesn’t continue to happen over and over.
I guess the short summary of what I am trying to say is this. We all take a fall now and then. In those moments it is easy to lay there and think about how much it hurt and how much easier it would be to stay down. In those times it is important to get back up and take the chance of getting knocked down again and possibly again. Only when you get back up can you learn from what just happened and what changes we need to make to keep whatever it was from happening again.
When things get tough, we are much better served by looking at what we can learn from the experience rather than focusing on how much we hurt.
An open letter and the ONLY response to critics!
Posted by Matt Hoover in General on October 17th, 2009
Ben,
Thanks for the heads up, but I will be honest with you. I actually don’t read any forums. If Jim hadn’t forwarded me the email he sent you guys, I would have never even known that anything negative had ever been said about me on your site. I felt like you were very respectful and professional toward me when we interviewed and if you feel like covering my next Ironman when there won’t be any cameras and hoopla, I’d be glad to talk with you.
I’ve been in the public eye for many years now and have learned that no matter the success or the failure, there will be people jumping on the opportunity to bash a perfect stranger. I did the best I could that day and that is all I can do. At the end of the day, the only people I am worried about impressing are God, my family, and my friends. When it’s all said and done, whether I crossed the line at 16:59:59 or at 17:03, they all still love me and that is what is truly important to me.
This year people will be negative toward me and next year those same ignorant people will do it to someone else and no one will be sitting around talking about my performance this year. The cool thing is that the people I met while I was here, amateurs and pros alike were all so nice to me and that is what I am going to take away from this experience. The people screaming for me when I crossed that line, the strangers that ran alongside me down Alii Dr. and the 2 little boys yelling that I could still do it even though time was way past the cut-off. Those are memories that will be with me the rest of my life and as I said to you during our interview, I will never feel bad or apologize for making the most of an opportunity.
I was inspired that day, by the athletes that passed by me, by a stranger that I will never see again with one leg and one arm who was still going at the energy lab even though neither of us were going to be “official” Ironmen, by the people at the aid stations who never let on that I may not even get the opportunity to cross the line, by thousands of strangers screaming as I made the turn toward the finish, and most of all by my coaches, friends, and family who let me beleive I could actually do this and were still proud when I didn’t.
I didn’t do this Ironman to prove to some stranger wrong or right, I did it to prove to myself and others that we can do anything we set our minds to. For all of the negative statements, there are positives. For all of those feeling uninspired by my performance, there are those who will be. I am proud to think that whether I am a real Ironman or not, (I will be when I cross the line under the cut-off at my next one) there may be at least one person who chooses to chase what may seem to be an impossible goal and not quit until they get to the finish line.
Thanks for letting me know, but I am not going to waste a moment of my time trying to change the opinions of others toward me. Triathlon has been a gift in my life as well as my family and we are going to do our best to promote it and all it has to offer in the best light we can for as long as we can. The athletes that are already involved in this sport should welcome all people into the tri-life whether they are fat, skinny, tall, short, fast or slow. You never know, this sport just may be a new lease on life for someone.
Not crossing the finish line under the cut-off in Kona would be far less embarrasing than knowing I turned even one person off to this amazing sport because of my attitude toward them or their appearance. As I said in one of my interviews last week. “You can only make a first impression of someone by their appearance. You can never judge their heart and mind until you give them a chance.”
I firmly beleive that all of us in this great sport should give everybody who wants to, the chance to experience their own victory in our sport.
Have a great day!
Matt Hoover (Almost an Ironman this time!)
Matt Hoover
www.Matt-Hoover.com
www.BodyEvolution.com
Author: Matt Hoover’s Guide to Life, Love, and Losing Weight
Why Are You Doing This?
Posted by Matt Hoover in General on August 5th, 2009
This afternoon my wife and I met with a friend of ours. Eventually the conversation turned to my Ironman that is quickly approaching. Our friend asked me an interesting question. Quite simply it was “What is your goal in doing this?”
I stated “To finish.” She asked again “Besides that, why? What do you hope to accomplish?” I thought for a moment thinking that finishing the race should have been a sufficient reason and a good answer. I really wasn’t sure what she was getting at.
This is my first season in the sport of triathlon. I had done a couple sprint distance races several years ago but never gave much thought to becoming a triathlete. In fact when I was first approached by a friend of my to try doing an Ironman distance race I flat out told him no. When I finally decided to give it a try I jumped in with both feet.By the end of my first season I will have done every distance you can do in the sport of triathlon.
What started out as something to try has turned into a passion. I love the training, I love the comraderie with my team, I love competing , and most of all I love being surrounded by like minded healthy, as well as those striving to get there, people.
Often when Suzy and I go to an event, whether to compete or watch, people will come up to us and thank us for inspiring them to get healthy. That is an amazing compliment and one that drives us in our quest to continue living healthy lives. We know people are watching us.
This brings me back to why I am going to compete in the 2009 Ford Ironman World Championships. I am obviously going there to finish, but more importantly I am going there to show myself and others what we can do when we set our minds to do something that is important to us.
The longer I thought about my friend’s question the more reasons I began to come up with. Me doing this event is setting an example for my little boys. Even though they may never remember me crossing the line in Hawaii, they are seeing me workout everyday and working to be healthy. As I continue in this sport they are going to see me as well as their mom being active as long as they are under our roof.
I think one of the biggest reasons I am choosing to do this is to encourage others to push themselves beyond what they may think is possible in their own lives. I have heard from so many people who say that they wish they could do this or that. Unfortunately, right after they tell me what they wish they could do, they list a ton of reasons why they can’t.
I hope that by me doing this race the same people who list all the reasons they can’t do something will start to look at the reasons they can do anything. I want them to see that no matter where you are, you are capable of so much more if you will just give yourself a chance or take the chance when it is given to you.
I guess the short answer to my friend’s question tonight of “Why are you doing this?” is this. I am doing this to show that the only limits that we have are the ones we place upon ourselves, whether it be competing in an Ironman or rolling off the couch and taking those first steps back to health. I am doing this to ensure that I leave a legacy of health and wellness for my sons, not one of fear, doubt, or what ifs. I am doing this to show that it’s not starting the race, it’s finishing it and learning lessons along the way.
Tonight a friends question gave me a great new perspective. Maybe it’s time that you join me in asking “Why are YOU doing this?”
