Tonight I arrived at the Biggest Loser Fitness Ridge Resort in Utah. As soon as I arrived I was taken to be measured, weighed, and have my picture taken. After that I was suppose to go to supper. I went out to my car and had a mini panic attack. I felt like the new kid in school. A lot of the people had been here a while and already knew each other. I was intimidated. I was more nervous tonight than when I went on The Biggest Loser.
I think a lot of it had to do with the fact that I am not where I want to be physically. I knew people would know me, and I let my thoughts take over. “What would they think of me?” “Are they going to wonder why I am not the size I was when I left the show?”
These thoughts and more were paralyzing me. The thing is, is that I was doing it to myself. I walked in and found a place to sit. Everyone introduced themselves. All of the people seemed really nice. Some gave advice, some told stories, all are here to change their lives.
When it got to me, I took the microphone and stumbled through an introduction. I get paid to travel the country and speak. I’ve had audiences of over 2000 people and tonight I couldn’t talk. I was more nervous than when I got to the ranch to be on national television.
When it was all over I headed back to the condo I will be living in for the next two weeks. It can be lonely when you are all by yourself and I noticed the loneliness immediately. I am use to being around my wife and two little spark plug boys.
It’s going to be interesting, but as I said earlier this week; sometimes the best thing you can do to take care of your family is take care of yourself.
I am going to bust during my time here and will keep you all updated along the way. Check back for daily wrap-ups as well as video of my time here.
It’s time to stop being scared and go to work!
#1 by Connie - June 16th, 2010 at 21:30
Matt, I know how you felt when returning to the Ranch after gaining weight. I have old friends, previous co-workers and others that I will not let see me the way I am today. I used to be beautiful on the outside and the inside, glowing all the time, with a large crowd of people around me wherever I went. Once I started gaining weight and losing both my inner and outer beauty, I only wanted to be around my newer friends and coworkers at my newer job. It felt comfortable and I was not ashamed to meet new people who saw me as I am currently. I am just ME, I would tell myself, and that was enough. I have to COMMEND you on gathering up the courage to go back to a place that knew you when you were at your best inner and outer beauty! That is a much more courageous thing than talking in front of a crowd of strangers. God Bless you for having that courage and facing your fears. Not many people can do that and you should walk a little taller because of it. Be proud, you deserve it! From a fellow Iowan and a follower of your journey.