Yesterday I talked a little about how we can’t change others, only ourselves. I want to talk about how our actions speak louder than words. By changing ourselves we can encourage those around us to make changes without saying a word. I am going to share how I use to be a “gonna do” person instead of a “do” person.
For a lot of years when I was struggling I would tell people about what I was going to do. I was going to lose weight, I was going to quit drinking so much, I was going to go back to school. Let’s just say I was going to do a lot of things.
Nearly every week I was gonna start a diet. I was a lot like people you have seen or maybe even yourself. On Monday I would show up to work with my water and a salad for lunch. On Tuesday I would show up with a salad, a sandwich, and a water. On Wednesday I would have a sandwich and a pop. On Thursday a sandwich, a pop, and a bag of chips. On Friday I was like “Forget it, let’s just go out for lunch. I did pretty good this week.” This pattern would repeat itself pretty regularly.
The other thing I was always gonna do was cut back on the drinking. On Saturdays when I was good and drunk I would tell my friends that “After tonight, I’m done.” They would laugh a little and then say “OK Hoover, whatever you say.” I use to get upset and think to myself “Why don’t they beleive me? They should be encouraging me!” Again, I said this on a regular basis but never got around to actually doing it.
It never dawned on me that the reason people didn’t get excited for me is because they were constantly hearing me say things and never doing anyting. It wasn’t that they didn’t want to see me do things they just knew from my past that I probably wasn’t going to follow through. It wasn’t meaness, it was past experiences.
I don’t think I am much different from a lot of people in wanting praise for the things I want to do and not wanting constructive criticism for the things I say I am going to do and then don’t. We all want to look good in others eyes and not look like a failure. Unfortunately, when we don’t follow through we start to talk about what we are going to do next as though to somehow make up for what we didn’t do.
It’s a vicious cycle and it leads nowhere. We need to start small with the changes and then check them off as we go. More importantly, we need to follow through. It’s easy to set big goals and talk about all of the great things we want to do. It can be difficult to actually do them.
I rarely tell people all of the things I am going to do now. I just do them and let people see the results. One reason is that a lot of the things that I tend to do seem downright insane to others. For example, competing in the Ford Ironman World Championships having never done more than a sprint triathlon before. The other reason is that I have learned that my actions speak louder than my words.
In the words of the great Nike slogan, Just Do It! That being said, when we begin to take action more than likely those around us will too. If you want to encourage someone close to you to lose weight, lose weight yourself first. If you want to get a better job, start looking and preparing yourself. We can’t just sit around and wait for things to happen for us. We have to be do-ers instead of gonna do-ers! Have an awesome weekend and go do something!
See you Monday!
#1 by Mary Wilkinson - February 5th, 2010 at 18:09
I am from WI farm country and I could hear the title said by lots of my relatives. I could hear the way those two words sound. Thank was interesting. Must say I am enjoying your blog immensely.
#2 by Lori - February 19th, 2010 at 08:52
How right you are Matt, how right you are!